March 5, 2006
THE CRISIS OF CRAP IN NORTH AMERICA, IT'S SPREADING RAPIDILY.
ACTION MUST BE TAKEN
The state of the Culture from the toilette perspective-America's conflictions as seen from the toilet bowl!
Today's toilet says it all.
Natural Resources:
As we strive ever so weakly to try and address the obvious exhausting of resources this Earth has provided us, the toilet has been redesigned to flush with less water.
While on the surface, this is a good thing, the truth is, however, that it requires that small loads be the targets of those flushes.
To you investors out there, consider this a recommendation to increase your holdings in household product companies that focus on emergency toilete clearing products and devices. More specific companies will be listed at the end for those paid subscribers to this authors stock report.1
WHATS WRONG WITH TODAY'S TOILETS?
The dilemma: while flushing power is reduced, a good thing, the size of the loads deposited by the average American are increasing at an alarming rate2.
As people let fly with increasingly large turds, and massively increasing amounts of wiping paper are required to clean todays' massive asses, four events are happening with alarming frequency:
Forrest Products:
More rainforest products are being denuded by mass production to produce evermore ass wipe; this is increasing the planet's inability to process carbon dioxide.
Water Usage:
More and more toilets have reduced flushing capabilities; in order to rid ones bathroom of noxious collections of turds, stuck in their toilets, there is actually far more good, fresh, potable water being flushed into the sewer in usually vain attempts to clear the overwhelmed plumbing fixtures-It's like light cigarettes, those fools who smoke them are actually sucking in more toxins than a straight normal cigarette..
Commercial Manufacturing Eco Load:
Since the first line of defence for crap clearing remains the plumbers helper, The demands for these products is increasing dramatically. However, this again presents a dilemma for a culture that must reduce its' individual eco burden. These are listed here:
Plumbers helpers lifecycles have dramatically reduced from a typical twenty years, to 3 months. This results in three environmental loading issues:
3.1.1: The energy used and pollution caused by mass production of these items in Asia is filling local environments with more volitle, toxic chemicals used in these short lived products,
3.1.2: Local rainforests and forrest health is being assaulted at even greater rates to supply the expotential demand for wooden and/or plastic handles
3.1.3: U.S. Landfills have an increasing burden of discarded short life time no biodegradible plastic broken plunger heads, handles, and wood wastes from the discarded handles.
Disease Etiology
Since the ability of Americans to flush away their ever increasing volumes of fecal waste has been greatly diminished, the exposure to feces born disease in concomitantly increasing. Just imagine the amount of crusted feces under the finger nails of those wide ass people you see next to you in the internet cafe, typing away..
This adds the additional eco burdens of:
4.1 Family members being exposed more frequently to feces transmitted diseases
4.2 Treatment for those diseases adds to the US eco burden in production, packaging, and excretion of treatment medicines and eco burden of treatment protocols3
4.3 Productivity declines to due more missed days from work
4.4 Organic increases in rates of fecal bourne disease from those stricken but continue to work anyway, exposing at higher rates their colleagues to fecal bourn disease.
The etiology stems from two unrelated factors: First, as one fights vigorously to clear a clogged toilet, the fecal bourne disease microbes are giving proportionally more probability of landing in a successful transfer situation. In other words, more crap particles can find their way onto tooth brushes, prescription bottles, children's hair and teeth, and pets.
And unrelated, but occurring under similar circumstances, as the american ass continues to expand to extra normal size, the ability to reach to appropriate areas around the anus and interior of the butt checks is greatly diminished, therefore exposing laundry workers and others to the severe fecal transmitted diseases such as Hepititus A, B, and even C, mono, and the other yet undefined diseases transmitted by this most successful transmission arrangement.
Recommended Corrective Actions:
The society for the reduction of fecal matter (SFTRFM) (a K street lobbying firm founded by Jack Abrahmoff) has issued several recommendations to reverse these disturbing trends. However, as always, it is the individual who can have the most impact, if they in-turd become the change they wish to see in the world.
I will summarize those recommendations here. However, if you would prefer to skip this section, please go to the closing remarks and the investment recommendations from this organizations portfolio committee.
SFTRFM Recommendations:
Introduce legislation mandating that toilette plungers have a minimum design lifetime of 1 year. This will reduce the eco load by a factor of 3, however this is far less than the technology of 10 years ago provided.
Reduce Ass acreage by 18%. This would allow the normal paper user the opportunity to clean better, using less resources, and would lower the probabilities of ancillary support people exposure the turd bourne disease found on shirt sleeves and under finger nails.
Develop flush assist technology. This could take the place of today's typical gravity feed type flush designs... It could include high pressure gas discharge toilettes, electric pumps, or backup high volume emergency water suppliers to clear out America's toilettes. All of these approaches would introduce new eco burdens, that would have to be carefully included into the design criteria for such solutions
Provide high volume public toilete facilities where those large people with challenging bowel movement circumstances could go, to use SUV size toilett facilities, and receive assistance as needed. To be effective, this approach would require control with data technologies similar to those so effectively deployed in the terror watch lists, in order to identify and enforce success.
In addtion, we believe that government regulations on the testing for low volume toilettes should be imposed. This would require using actual extreme case testing with human subjects, instead of the psuedo tests used by our toilette manufacturing industry today.
Please feel free to make comments or suggestions on this important topic here on this blog.
INVESTMENT ADVICE-As promised
We all now it's easy to point out weakness and problems facing our country today. But it is the belief of this organization that we must also provide a clear path to profit from today's crisis's. Therefore, we have prepared a targeted list of two categories of investments that we can all make in two areas; The first A. is to enjoy the profits from the inordinate volumes of supplies and technologies necessary to sustain the current in effective and dangerous methods used today to mitigate defective toilette flushing, and secondly, B: for those willing to bet on a future where solutions will be implemented, those companies and products that will solve the crap crisis in America today. Follow or click one or both of the links below is you are interested:
Investment A: Continue the Status Quo
Investment B: Bet on the Future Mitigations
Foot Notes:
1Crapper Stocks recommendations, MLI Investors Newsletter, March, 2006
2The size of feces, and the quantity of wiping materials has increased expotentially since 1960. source: the american plumbers association annual state of the sewer system report, 2002
3Centers for Disease Tracking, March, 2006
